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I’ve Been Called Weird…

I’ve been called weird and odd in my life. They were just labels I accepted early on, because I couldn’t even explain the way I was in a manner that made sense with the rest of the world happening around me. No one could truly lay a claim to understanding me. I was the eccentric friend, brother, son, uncle, husband… At least some people liked me and loved me anyway, right?

I left high school early, only to remove myself from college before getting done. Once I got done with college, I swore I would never go back, only to go back twice over (to this point). My worst class was always math, but math has always been one of my strongest abilities outside of school.

I’ve always had people that made assumptions about things I’ve said or my specific behavior in any situation. Always had trouble with it in school. Thought I had gotten away from it outside of school, but haven’t escaped it when I’ve tried to make professional leaps to better myself and my family. There are grown adults spreading rumors about me just in the past two years because they never took the opportunity to figure out who I was and how everything worked with me.
There was one day that my wife and I were visiting with some friends, and I apparently cut one of them off with a correction in a mean-spirited manner. My wife asked me later what in the world I was thinking, doing that. However, I couldn’t recall that feeling ever being present at the time that occurred. That friend, who is also an educator, later told my wife the more she thought about it, she thought I might be Autistic.

I did what I always do and read everything I could find on the subject. I could see how that would be the case that I would be Autistic, but didn’t do anything further with that information at the time. Being parents of a toddler trumped a lot of things at the time, including this. But those two would dovetail together after we began to suspect that our toddler might also be Autistic.

At a later date, I had a really bad day at work. It felt like I was having a bit of a breakdown, so I sought out a psychologist. In one visit, that psychologist had identified me as Autistic. (To be fair, he said Asperger’s Syndrome, but the current diagnosis standard has everything rolled under the same umbrella as Autism Spectrum Disorder.) So my breakdown that led me to the psychologist could more accurately be described as a meltdown.

In the last 18 months, it’s been tough to walk around quiet about it. Some days, I’m really spent because certain things just violate the sensibilities I have that sometimes only make sense to myself. There have been things that seem to be new issues for me when the truth is I am only just now understanding things that have caused me trouble my entire life.

It’s been an interesting ride at home not only re-learning about me, but also learning about my son in an additional light finding out he is Autistic as well. I’ve also selectively told people I thought would be open-minded.

I share my story now for a few reasons. One, it really is tiring not to share with those that know me best out of everyone. I’ve always been an open book for people, and that still hasn’t changed. Two, the battle amongst the growing Autistic community to dispel the stigma of being Autistic requires education and understanding of others about the troubles gone through to persist in a world not designed for you. I like to make bold moves, so I decided I wanted to jump from one at a time to many
at a time.

A little about Autism:

Autism Spectrum Disorder is a neurotype that is legally classified as a disorder in the United States, as well as many other countries. Diagnoses have spiked in the past decade because the knowledge of what Autism is and isn’t has only just started hitting its stride. Most adults diagnosed as such probably should have been diagnosed as children. There is still a lot being learned about Autism.

The one confirmation the medical community has made about how a person ends up with Autism is that there is a heavy genetic causality.
Autism manifests itself differently in every individual identified as Autistic. Because it can cause a severe effect on development, some Autistics will require assistance the duration of their life. Others may need no assistance because they’ve learned ways to “fit in” to a level where most people would never know how different they really are.

There are some general areas in which Autistics process differently than everyone else.

1. Executive Function: This is the ability to operate every day, doing normal tasks that anyone has to do. This can be a minor or a major issue. For me personally, I operate nominally as long as I have things hammered into a routine. The moment that routine has to change is when my world can get turned upside down, even on the tiniest of things. This is why I like project management. I am a planner!

2. Processing of emotions or emotional information: The stereotype is that Autistics have no emotions. This is untrue. They just process differently. If you allow me to be a fly on the wall, I will have the entire room read in no time flat. However, if you insist I interact and be involved with anyone, it can take me hours to days to process their emotions and what they said. This makes me seem uncaring at the time, and “late to the party” when I revisit something later. Even just a little bit of distance allows me to be more efficient.

3. Sensory Processing: This is something that manifests itself differently for every Autistic person out there. This is something I am even still learning more just about myself. Sound, smell, touch, sight, taste… All these things have the possibility of being hyper-enhanced. I often have issues with sounds that are needlessly loud. They create physical stress reactions. I can function through them, but in the case of attending a college football game where the loudness of the experience (not including the noise produced by the fans in attendance) was indiscriminate, it took me about 3 weeks to recover.

4. Honesty: The saying goes that honesty is the best policy. But that is never held to be true always. Some people will lie, or withhold the truth, to spare feelings. Others will do it to avoid consequences. There are many reasons people will lie. The way Autistic people are wired, they tell the truth…every time…practically. For most Autistic people, they would be bad liars. Manipulative ulterior motives are rarely ever existent for an Autistic who is telling the truth about something. Some people have suggested this is tied back into the emotional processing issues.

5. Meltdowns: Over-stimulation in any area can cause meltdowns. Meltdowns are basically when the brain short-circuits on you. Meltdowns can be loud and messy, especially with, but not exclusive to, younger kids. They can also be very quiet, where someone just shuts down and doesn’t participate in the world for a little bit. Meltdowns go away at some point after the removal of the over-stimulation.

Goals for Autistic people to self-regulate often include exercise, diet adjustments, yoga, and meditation. Goals for “normal” people to be inclusive of Autistics include having an open mind and allowing time (in multiple ways) for whatever the relationship is supposed to be to form, as well as always communicating in the most direct way possible (we don’t normally understand innuendo).

In spite of these differences Autistics have with “normal” people, we often learn things faster, are very loyal (sometimes to a fault), and are already extremely hard workers just trying to keep on par with others in a world not designed for us.
Remember, Autism is a little bit different from person to person. What I would share with you that specifically applies to me may not work in the same way for anyone else. That being said, I am always happy to answer anything I can.


63618_182980491719336_5407577_nTim Brewer is an awesome Husband and Father to his wife and son.  Tim currently lives in the Panhandle of Texas, where the star are bright at night and you can watch your dog run away for three days.  Tim is also a great friend of the Bearded Theologians.

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Seek Adventure

Seek Adventure.

Seek: verb; attempt to find (something)

Adventure: noun; an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity.

Simple words, but they’re not always the easiest to follow for a wanderlust traveler like myself. I have driven thousands of miles across the last few years in search of new sights, new creatures, and new experiences. Most of my time has been spent in the American Southwest. I’ve spent countless weeks in this area hiking along trails and looking for reptiles/amphibians. I love the heat, the giant cactus (especially the saguaro in Arizona), and the rugged beauty of the landscapes. More importantly, I love the sense of adventure.

When I think of the word ‘adventure’, I typically picture a several day trip to some state park, national monument or national park where I camp hundreds of miles from home beneath a sea of stars with a campfire crackling a few feet away. Even driving to these locations is an adventure because of the sights and sometimes the traffic. I can spend hours outdoors hiking and exploring nature. Going off the beaten trail in search of a lizard or snake I thought I saw. Standing in a forest or on the side of a mountain listening to the quietness that fills the moment. Someplace wild where I lose the familiarity and comfort of everyday life.

Adventures such as this are rare, particularly for the everyday working person. We wake up early in the morning for an 8-5 Monday thru Friday job and seem to only live for the weekend. Even on the weekends, we are too exhausted to do much besides things around the house or spend an evening out with friends. We now daydream of adventures with family and friends but we can’t break out of the daily grind we have found ourselves in. Having to deal with the real world just sucks some days, especially when you’re stuck in the office planning your next trip almost a year in advance. The longing for a wander will become a real issue at this point, and it will make you want to leave your job to find the nearest nature trail.

Leaving your job isn’t the best answer however, but I have found that in our daily grind, we can find small adventures. This can be anything from saying hello to a new person, to trying a new restaurant, or just driving around an area of town we aren’t familiar with. Just by saying hello to a new person we may make a new friend and that new friendship could turn into another adventure. By trying a new restaurant we may experience new tastes and possibly find a new meal that we fall in love with. By exploring a new area of town we may find a business or building that offers a unique service or activity for us to try out.

When I first moved to Lubbock, TX I worked at the University Medical Center. It took me a while to talk to the people I worked with but when I finally did, I became really good friends with them. From there they introduced me to a new restaurant that I love (Torchy’s Tacos is the best) and they invite me to random places where we hang out at. It may not seem like it, but I consider all that to be an adventure nonetheless. These smaller, personal adventures keep me going until it’s time for the next big adventure.

An adventure is meant to be something that gets you out of your element and to experience something new. As much as we badly long for the epic adventures, these adventures don’t fit into our daily routines. As much as I’d love to be outdoors hiking and seeing wonderful views, I’ve come to realize that the small, daily ones challenge me in different ways, and they matter just as much as the grandiose adventures.


18589082_10154791395419069_7623149350546830247_oJacob Kemmer is a young man from Lubbock, Tx who seeks adventure everywhere he goes. I’ve known Jacob for a long time and his passion for nature and the creatures in it is inspiring… minus the snakes… snakes are never “cute” or “cool”.  I’m pretty sure Jacob is one of the Wild Kratts brothers… GO WILD KRATTS!

(Sometimes I enjoy writing bios for people ~Zach)

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Blogging

3 Things I Would Tell My 18-Year-Old Self

If I had the finances, luck, or a DeLorean complete with a flux capacitor I would love to travel back in time. Of course, I would love to travel through time seeing various events throughout the past and even into the future. Unfortunately, to my knowledge, time travel is not a reality at this point in time… or at least that’s what I want you to think! One of the trips that I would make back in time is to my 18-year-old self. Fresh out of high school, on my own, in college, and working up to 4 jobs all at once. I would like to tell myself 3 very real truths I wish I would have known some 14 years ago. I do not have many regrets in life, and these 3 bits of encouragement to myself or anyone in the same position are not about regrets, simply encouragement.

1.  Save your money. Just because you have a little bit of money doesn’t mean you have to spend it. Save your money and when you spend it, spend it wisely. Spend your money on things that will provide you lifelong memories, not temporary happiness.

2.  See the world. There are really awesome towns and sites to see so close to you. Go see the world that is right in your backyard and then keep going. Don’t limit yourself to the big cities stop in the small towns too. Get off the interstate, take your time, cruise. This world is full of rich history and people. Take the time to travel the world and hear people’s stories.

3.  Slow down and smell the roses. Take the time to take all that life is throwing at you in. You will have the opportunity to experience great joys and great tragedies, take them all in. Good, bad, right, and wrong these moments make you who you are. Slow down and take them in, let them shape you into who God is calling you to be and where God is calling you.

Life is an amazing thing. There is not a moment or experience that I regret or take back. My life is not perfect nor has it gone exactly as planned but at the end of the day, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I would simply slow down a little bit and take it all in. Life is too short to spend it worrying about money, missed opportunities, and missed moments. The fortunate thing about this life is we do not have to have a time machine, we can life into these ideas and hopes today, no matter our age. Enjoy life. You owe it to yourself and your family.

 


15259719_10153880565206441_5213022733762386602_oRev Zach Bechtold is the Co-Founder of BeardedTheologians and a Pastor for the United Methodist Church in New Mexico.  When Zach is not sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ he is fighting crime as the masked avenger “Beardy Face”, but don’t tell anyone!

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Beardcast for 5.18.17 with Rev. Sarah Heath

This week we sit down with Rev. Sarah Heath as she talks about her book What’s Your Story?: Seeing Your Life Through God’s Eyes

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